Conversations from MommyLand: Episode 3, The Wiggles

Upon seeing the following video, DH and I had a conversation. (Trust me, it is only a minute long. It might be the Wiggles, but go with me.)




DH: Since when is there a new Wiggle?

Me: Huh? [I should probably mention that this took place prior to 9 am and before I had any tea]

DH: There is an extra guy up there.

I look.

Me: Honey, that's Al Roker. The guy who has been the weather man on the Today show for the past 15 years. The Wiggles have been the same 4 guys since before they were old enough to be slightly creepy.

DH: Huh. How was I supposed to know that?

Then I remembered, I have the whole suburban future-soccer mom thing going on, and so I watch the Today show, unlike DH who is at work when it is on.

I also remembered that although my life very rarely looks like a Katherine Heigl movie, in this case, just a little... in the movie Life as We Know It, something along the lines of "You will want to find out where the Wiggles live and shoot them in the face." Okay, not quite, but I do want to give Captain Feathersword a wedgie, that's for sure.

TV Moms

So here's where I admit it. I'm a reality TV junkie.

Sort of. I've never been a big fan of the sort of reality TV where somebody gets voted off the peninsula or whatever every week, and despite the fact that I would like to do an adventure race someday, I have never really enjoyed the shows where they drop someone off in the middle of nowhere with a sponsored cellphone, a camera crew, and $10 to see what happens.

What I am a fan of is the sort of reality TV that looks a little like someone's real life... but is enough removed from mine that I can judge them from a safe distance. This is why I like almost the entire "Real Housewives" series. (I'm not crazy about the New Jersey housewives. It's like Bravo's casting call included "must be a stereotype of New Jersey tackiness while not being quite as trashy as those 'Jersey Shore' kids.) But give me the "Real Housewives of Orange County" or the "Real Housewives of New York" and a drinky-drink and I'm a happy mama.

I was watching the "Real Housewives of New York" spin-off "Bethany Ever After..." and I was struck by something. Of all of these shows, her life looks the most like mine... she struggles to find balance, she has fights with her husband, she never seems to have enough hours in the day. And yet she somehow finds time to go out with her husband, go to the spa, and never has complained about how much baby sleep is a royal pain in the arse. I must be flawed if I complain, right?

But then I realized something. I expect everything in my life to look like the life of a TV mom. and Frankel struggles to make it all work and she has a multi-million dollar income, a assistant who works out of an office in Frankel's home, a live in nanny, and make up and hair artists who make her pretty any time she has to appear in public. I have.... well, I have a dog, who thoughtfully cleans the highchair after the Bug finishes eating. Also, I don't have an editing director who picks the interesting funny parts of parenting rather than the pain-in-the-arse exhausting parts to show.

I'm in it all the time.

Oops. There's the chatty sweet girl waking up on the monitor.

I wonder why they don't show poopy diapers on TV?

(Oh, and Skinny Girl Margaritas are awesome!)

Things I Have Learned From Children's TV

So the Bug is starting to get to an age where she can tell the difference between suitable television programing and my secret pleasure, the Real Housewives. (I can't get enough of 'em, although I totally think all the New Jersey Housewives are completely whack-a-do.) She's been a bit under the weather the past few days, so I've been letting her watch more TV than usual, since she hasn't been as into chasing the dog around the sofa as she is when her energy level is normal.

So I've been watching Sprout and Nickelodeon.

Okay, so it is time to date myself a bit. The TV I remember watching when I was a preschooler is pretty much Reading Rainbow and Sesame Street. Beyond that, my mom watched Days of Our Lives and Another World.

Some things I have learned from this new generation of children's shows.

1. Australians are really freakin' weird.

Example 1a: Dirt Girl World



Okay, so it is actually a co-production of the CBC and the ABC, but all the creepy little people and bugs have Aussie accents, so I lay this at the feet of the Aussies.

2. Brits are a bit odd as well. (Perhaps I should have combined these into one and just laid it at the feet of the entire Commonwealth. Perhaps this oddness is the lasting influence of the royal family?)

Example 2a: Rubbadubbers, a series that takes place entirely in a bathroom in stop motion.




Example 2b: Fireman Sam. It seems that Fireman Sam and his cohort are Welsh, and it is interesting to note that when the show originally aired, it was in Welsh. Even for a kids show, however, the morals seem a bit tidy. Also, I find a few of the voices a bit off, and the Welsh accents make me think of the show Torchwood, so I keep waiting for Capitan Jack Harkness to swoop in and blame the rift, and possibly hire and/or sleep with Fireman Sam or his sidekick who is, inexplicably, named Elvis.

3. Math can solve anything. The Bug loves a show on Nick called "Team UmiZoomi" in which 2 Smurf-sized children and their handy Robot solve Umi City's problems with their Mighty Math Powers. The show actually reinforces important skills for preschoolers like shapes, pattern recognition and counting, but the breadth of problems they solve with math is nothing short of stunning. They've found lost toys, gotten planes off the ground, made sure Grandma got her "I Love You Day" cookies. The part the Bug likes best is the song at the end.



4. It's all good if you can end the day with a song. Just ask Team UmiZoomi or Dora the Explorer.

I still want to know what Dora would do if she didn't find her objective and couldn't sing the "We Did It" song at the end of an episode.